FUND RAISER!

This is the best idea I've ever had. Starting today I am collecting money for a few worthy causes -- you can donate using PayPal:

1) cryogenic freezing of me so I can wake up when "it's all over";

2) botox because my eyebrows are growing together and forming a levy system that New Orleans would envy;

3) lobotomy (a little more permanent but still an option);

4) R&D of eyeglasses with sponges to absorb massive amounts of tears shed every day.

So go on over to PayPal and start contributing.